Dear sweet baby Jesus, save yourselves from this crap!

The Wolf of Wall Street - Jordan Belfort

Ugh, this one almost ended up in the DNF pile.  I have no idea why it's being made into a movie.

I'll save you all the pain of reading this.  Here's the story in a nutshell: My name's Jordan Belfort.  I'm short and hate being called "little".  I'm also a raging drug and sex addict that emotionally and physically abuses everyone in my life because I think I'm SOOOOO much smarter than everyone else.  My whole life revolves around my intense, desperate need to be cool and massive paranoid persecution complex, so I screw over everyone and act like a complete asshole by ingesting more drugs than most small nations, banging every chick I come into even the most casual contact with (including hookers), and committing massive securities fraud.  Basically, I'm the reason the economy collapsed, so if you've lost everything in the last few years, you're welcome, you funded my idiocy.  I go to rehab (eventually) but still can't see how I've caused any of the the stuff that's happened.  Then I get indicted and divorced.  The End.

This book was a slog from start to finish.  The prose is idiotic (seriously, every woman under 60 has "loamy loins". Gross.) and the author is so devoid of any insight it's a waste of time to read.  Save yourselves.  Don't do it.